All is so fresh in my mind
And I don’t want to be your liability
The words that you spoke
Because I spoke first
The actions that drove
To which I reacted overrated
I had a reason to start the argument
It flared like a monster uncontrolled
The fury just took so over
The need was a balm of comfort
That didn’t happen
Coz so was the expectation
I was terrible coz I was terrified
My eyes scared just 1/100th of what was I
The panic button pressed hard
I needed your voice
I so needed your voice
What I heard was a roar
What I heard was a whip
And now I am still listening hard
Very silently for a ping
And I know I have to
I have to no longer be the kid
The kid I never was
The kid I never saw
The kid I wished to be with you
The kid who I will only know
Be rest assured all will be fine
Only I will miss being your liability
:)
Still lovingly yours
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
TOOK A WHILE
It takes ages to write something good or substantial. There is so much of clutter in the head and outside that anything meaningful becomes a challenge. I feel that lot of thoughts - very intense or deep are fuelled by sadness and the will to make things better. I have faltered too. Not really in evaluating people but in taking steps that one should have taken long back to avoid miseries.
For each of us at some time or other, relationships have been at times so traumatic that it was easier to either remain without them or with them at all costs. That is mostly a fault. We should treat life a bit like your “stock exchange portfolio” where one has stocks of variety of risks that even out in the long run. Once my friend suggested that a common friend of ours who was in “committed relationship” should have a Plan B. But well she who was in love, didn’t agree even though she was ankle deep in troubled waters. She tried to rescue a failing relationship, which all of us do but sadly the risk didn’t pay off and she drowned. Now, one could argue that she did her efforts but what maybe she forgot was that efforts are 1) 2 sided in any relationship and 2) have a plan B if things are not in order.
Loyalty is an angel - devil virtue. My thoughts were not the same many years back. It was and still is a unique quality in today’s world. It builds your character, another main reason when people stick to relationships. BUT…if things are not going well and one actually feels that the drive to sustain things is only loyalty – at some time in the past you committed and everything else like love, respect, care have walked off, its time to let go. However difficult but do it and for your self. Be selfish in realizing what you want, why you want and with whom you want and then give it all.
The stock exchange portfolio has another concept of “maximum profitability” post which one should exit. Same applies in relationships. Many relationships are like FMCG items with an expiry date and few are like Taj Mahal – stand tall till the world go down. Like stocks that can expire conspire desire and fire. The part interesting is that no one knows which type is the relationship. So if respect is still there, continue. If it has peaked and fallen way below your threshold levels, retire hurt. It is much better than being clean bowled.
And life never ends till it ends itself. So you will find ways, smile, laughter, fears too. And someone will share all. The only change should be – being emotional fool should be a one time phenomenon. Post that, stay emotional and wise NOT wisely emotional.
Wisely yours'
For each of us at some time or other, relationships have been at times so traumatic that it was easier to either remain without them or with them at all costs. That is mostly a fault. We should treat life a bit like your “stock exchange portfolio” where one has stocks of variety of risks that even out in the long run. Once my friend suggested that a common friend of ours who was in “committed relationship” should have a Plan B. But well she who was in love, didn’t agree even though she was ankle deep in troubled waters. She tried to rescue a failing relationship, which all of us do but sadly the risk didn’t pay off and she drowned. Now, one could argue that she did her efforts but what maybe she forgot was that efforts are 1) 2 sided in any relationship and 2) have a plan B if things are not in order.
Loyalty is an angel - devil virtue. My thoughts were not the same many years back. It was and still is a unique quality in today’s world. It builds your character, another main reason when people stick to relationships. BUT…if things are not going well and one actually feels that the drive to sustain things is only loyalty – at some time in the past you committed and everything else like love, respect, care have walked off, its time to let go. However difficult but do it and for your self. Be selfish in realizing what you want, why you want and with whom you want and then give it all.
The stock exchange portfolio has another concept of “maximum profitability” post which one should exit. Same applies in relationships. Many relationships are like FMCG items with an expiry date and few are like Taj Mahal – stand tall till the world go down. Like stocks that can expire conspire desire and fire. The part interesting is that no one knows which type is the relationship. So if respect is still there, continue. If it has peaked and fallen way below your threshold levels, retire hurt. It is much better than being clean bowled.
And life never ends till it ends itself. So you will find ways, smile, laughter, fears too. And someone will share all. The only change should be – being emotional fool should be a one time phenomenon. Post that, stay emotional and wise NOT wisely emotional.
Wisely yours'
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