The Buddha within

Very recently, I fought with a dear friend over Buddha's philosophy and his detachment theory. I have never been quiet convinced with the treatment give to this concept. I have felt that somewhere many people just missed the meaning and essence, simply went for the term in a literal fashion.
My personal thoughts stand in contradiction to the interpretation that many have found to the most truthful concept of detachment and suffering. Even Gita says that it is the meaningless things that people run after and nothing goes with you. A lot of the learnings were told in this fashion because majority is of fools and unless you put across guidelines and instructions such as these, they(majority) will completely go berserk. But thats for the lot that have little clarity in mind and unless provided a rule book will never follow rules.
There is another lot in the society who needs to decipher the meaning with care. It is a stark reality that nothing is permanent except that source which gave birth to life. You can call it molecular energy, Aatma , GOD etc etc etc.
I would call it the X substance in us that is a small part in each of us vibrating at different wavelengths. And it is this X that connects people. Have you ever wondered as to why we sometimes feel so repulsive to one person and so affable to the other? It is this X that reaches to people with same wavelength. There are many instances of past life in this world to prove that people have relations with each other going back to many centuries and it is this connection that has kept people bonded. It is as permanent as time is - simply changes shape.
Saying all this, I go back to the attachment part. I feel that most of the people are not able detach themselves from their emotions when dire circumstances come by. Also most people are unable to detach themselves from wealth, habits, negative feelings etc. It is this detachment that many philosophers have spoken about. It is these that lead to sufferings. Even when it comes to relations, if each time a tragedy happens, and one is required to stand and take an unbiased decision and fails because of attachments, it will lead to sufferings. I feel detachments are never saying no to your commitments and relations as they are derivatives of many of our past lives. Detachment is to the situation, to the evil within us, to the many things that we accumulate and feel cannot be lived without. My justification to many who believe in detachment is that we live in a world of opposites, If there is evil, there is good, If there is Fire, there is Water too. If there is importance to detachment, then there is a meaning of attachment too. Life itself starts from the umbilical cord.
What needs to be remembered is that life is a balancing act and everything is but a limit (Always tend to). We need to know how far are we to the ends and where to place us on the number line.
Regardlessly Yours

This is the Real side

I celebrate myself everyday.
to embrace the life that I live.
The mud, the trees, the birds and their song
In every beat I hear or not
to every sky I saw or not.
My reflections I see in the pond.
The Ducks , their quacks in chorus,
I smile in return.
For all this and more,
The streets and the black soot.
The noise and the speaker.
I see many frowns and pursed lips.
and the fiery glow within.
I feel the heat too.
And then I take that moment
The moment that brings back all
The trees, the mud ,the street, the bug.
I smile in return.
For all this and more,
I fold my hands
and envelope the warmth.
Truely Yours

The past that is your life

There are times when you have so much to say that you dnt really know where to start.
To start with my uniquest quality. I meet people. They love me a lot. They teach me a lot. They make my heart open to warmth. They then suddenly vanish out of my life without giving as much as a reason. So cold I feel,. Really and beome a stone. They are all set to make me THE rOCK.
Strongly Yours

Lonely and Happy

If I have to go back to time and try to remember my memories of past, I will most definitely be at the terrace. I had this lovely habit of sitting alone in an evening or night and talk to myself.
I had always been a bit of loner. I enjoy company till some time and then drift into my solitude. Evenings had been beautiful with the long talks staring at a future that was no where in sight. I can't forget the the tears , the resolves, the laughters. I have not experienced them for a long time.
Maybe its time to become a loner again.
Lonely Yrs

The stars of my life-My pie

Into that lonely sky, where the coppice of light ends,
I met a star, late in the night
He wanted a someone to talk.
I wanted a someone to listen.
He listened all night and I heard him talk.
of all that was and was not
of all the wants
of all the cribbings
of all the blessings
It twinkled its tears away
I also wiped my eyes many times
A familiar comfort sets in.
Like when two souls echo their past
and talk of their maroned existence
beyond ages
And a resolve of parting ways till noise departs
To fill each other's silence with water, thunder and fears.
Fears specifically coz they pledge hope.
And who doesn't wants a pie of hope
Hopefully Yours

The pillow in our life

Have you ever imagined what a pillow means to someone who has always slept on cold grounds with dangers lurking a step away. A ground that is so hollow and cold that somewhere you also either become accustomed to it or become as cold as it. If you are those compromising types it is still okay as you can easily camouflage in a situation and live in pretension. But if you become cold and stoned, then agreed you live a pretentious life but a warm core always yeans of a pillow.
Now as time passes the latter type adjust but hope against hope. If you are one of those who finally get that pillow, and can feel the warmth flow, it becomes a lovely but scary situation. Because now if that pillow is taken away, your mask has already fallen and such people are not candles- Candles melt and then become solid again. No they are humans and fight for it. That becomes the objective.
The pillow is that comfort that one looked for and is not a luxury but a basic necessity.
Fighting(ly)
Urs

He is a criminal, Kill him

When we were very young, we were taught that don't hate the evil person but hate his actions. Today, as I saw a debate on capital punishments and people vehemently propagating it, it left me with biter feelings.” Kill him and there is no other way” were many people’s strong opinions. I had read somewhere that one should be careful in making enemies as something you ultimately become what you hate. It was a reality as I saw it today. We start growing that seed of hatred in us to this extent that our thoughts become influenced by it. We become brutal but all for a good cause (at least that’s our defense). Do we ever ponder that all the religious and humanitarian things that we have been exposed to over the years and our beliefs go for a toss. One should become a reformative society. We have outgrown from a barbaric society. Capital punsihments give one message - that an eye for an eye . Very mathematical. People who propagate it should remember that not all people are as fair as judicial system and will in times to come follow their emotions. What if they start taking things in their own hands as they will have a counter argument . They would themselves take justice in their hand and their intensions would only be inclined to give justice. It will not matter to them that who gives the judgment. Also life is a life. Be it one or many. Every life matters. So will this capital punishment become as uniform as killing every person who murders at whatever degree because at the end you have taken away a life. Also if you make it specific then it will lose objectivity unless you want to make the killings number bounded ie if someonbe has killed more than 35 then capital punishments? Taking it to another plane does this means any act of forceful sexual indulgence be countered by a similar accident to the gulity's relations such that he feels the pain. I talked of rape because in our phenomenal Indian society, we have been trained that any such rape victim is treated as good as dead.
My concern is the future. In the coming generation if this is the message, we tend to propagate; the time is not far when children will settle their scores with each other in the most unimaginably cruel way. My plea to many so called intellectualists is to be innovative and think of other ways of punishing that looks like punishment and not a backlashcrime

What I want

As a small child, I didn't have too many wants. A habit that I continue till today. On a mad day, I may say all gibberish but have always been happy seeing people around me happy.
Never did I cry for toys , cars, clothes, chocolates etc. I find it very hard to relate to people who are consistently wanting for something or the other. As a small child all I wanted was to make my paresnts happy and study well. Later, I wanted that I teach my sister such that she fares well. Much later I wanted to be a teacher as I felt that a lot of times upbringing goes wrong in the formative years.
Maybe One day I will.
Then I wanted my mother to be happy. Even today as I watch some program that is extremely touching, out of the corner of my eye, I look at my day-If he is happy? With my friends I never want to be a liability and fit easily with their ideas. May not agree but rarely want anything but their happiness. I have a very close friend and wish only best for him and don’t want him to be not frustrated and get a grip.
But in my solitude with the stars in the sky I share my sadness. No one can even feel it. I have never let anyone felt the pain in me as I know how much it pains to see others in pain and desolation. I Have never got that feeling of comfort where you feel you are off the burden. It came only for some time. It went as soon as it came.
God must be a dramatic play writer. His scripts have all emotions.
But I still know the goodness in me and will not let it go even if I choke on my tears.
Sadly Yours

4Oct06-Random thoughts

The December of my vivid past.
Has just passed me by,
After ages of my self imposed silence
I finally find my voice.
It felt strangely different and comfortably warm.
Like the taste of a coffee you drink,
to find it not identical as the earlier cup.
With great trepidations , I listen my mind.
Too vague and disconnected they seem to me.
As discreet as possible.
I wonder if they will mélange
With the familiar touch of innocence and sense.
If not now, completely, then with time,
Yes, the zeal of January is all set to start

3Oct06- Hit back

A very dear friend had read my blog and mentioned that I was not putting in relevant efforts in writing. I don't know whether it is actually true or he is biased or he expects a lot from me. But, it has definitely ignited minds. It is sheer pleasure to be with people who love to criticise you and more than willing to go that extra mile in this pursuit.
Thanks dear friend. We will see if this appeals to your senses.
Yesterday, I was at a wedding- Big people, bigger cars, biggest egos
Isn't that what weddings are about or rather marriages have become. Lose yourself to the chaos and live in blurred clarity.
I met a lot of old timers. People who had the potential and didn't achieve or explore but fell prey to the societal norms. Is it right or wrong? Well , It is basically a matter of opinion . There are all kinds of people in this oh so perfect world- Dreamers, Achievers , overachievers, losers, etc etc etc etc. But there is one differentiating and unique quality that makes one emerge above the others - empathy.
Someone who has learnt the art of learning lessons without being taught, smiling encouragingly when all is lost , raising the thunb instead the hated fingure and reading minds instead of hands deserves every bit of applaud. No wonder my hands tire me when I look the mirror. People like me are realists. The world is my school and playground . Will keep you posted on my lessons learnt, classes bunked and rules crunched.
Realistically Yours

My Poem- Inspiration

Difficulties come and go
It is the people who remain
Some with bright smiling faces
Some with a sense of releif
Some resign to fate
Some fight away
Some with sense of loss
Some with eyes to the cross
To each his own
Some cry some moan

No one is wrong
No one is right
It is nothing but circumstance
Your way you act
My way, I act
But through all this entaglement
It is the beleif that counts
The real person emerges
Say"I know I will"
Fight and survive
Aim and strike
Try and achieve
I know you will

Just for fun

If anone asks me that what is my talent, beleive me I will have to think really hard. Really very hard.
On the face of it, there is nothing. No dancing capabilities or singing(My voice is like a crow),fine arts, sports or anything. Not even a plane jane such that I feel content that this is what I have to do in life. NO nothing.
I am from India where you should have something in you to make a mark over people. I am not bad looking also but not drop dead gorgeous to become a model(though I did tried modelling for fun but nothing like goine on a ramp -fell short by 6-7 inches here and there).
I have worked my way to create a smart look. Not really for getting a guy. On the contrary for preventing them from taking me for a ride.
I may explain later this confused statement. Maybe right now is not the time.
Okay , so basically I always think that I hardly have anything in me that sets me apart from the rest. But I know many would question the rational in being different. Well I want it because there are so many people I find , who, are slaves of existence and chaos. I think they are not even aware of thsi fallacy.
Well I kept probing in myself and found that I am blessed with some clarity and logic that most are not. My interest is in poem and writing. I have a secret wish to have something published too. Offhandishly I suddenly remember a business tycoon speaking on TV and stating that he wishes to beleive people who would say I beleive than I Think. I , on the other hand, feel strongly that one should always think and beleive only when the outcome as apposite to the expectations. There is nothing wronhg in sayiong I think as one would actually be saying things very straightforward.
Well would soon be writing again
Dil se

30Sep06

My Birthday Month ends. It brings in a strange kind of excitement.